Resist

I apologize to those of you who are keeping up with www.therammells.com for posting the same entry, just thought I'd post it here as well for those who may not visit my other blog. Here is a blog I posted last week.....hope you all are well.

Deep breath in.....now let it out.......Ok first let me say a big ole’ THANK YOU to our friends for letting us use their beach house to get away for a couple of days. The Lord never ceases to amaze us by using His people to love on us and take care of us. Austin has worked non-stop since returning from our Christmas break, and a get away was very much needed. And unfortunately in order for him to stop....we have to leave town. We just got in last night, and are already in lazy mode.

Ari crawled into the bed with us about 5 o’clock this morning. Not able to go back to sleep, I felt the Lord drawing me to His Word, so here I sit.

I was thinking about the way He challenged me this week, and wanted to share it before my mind got too distracted. I am participating in the women’s Bible study on Thursday mornings “Anointed, Transformed, and Redeemed”. The book is broken up into those three titles, and each is written by three different authors (Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore, and Kay Arthur). We just finished the Anointed section by Priscilla and wow was it good. I try REALLY hard to stay on track and do the work every day, but I have to get up early in the morning to get it done, and, well, I’m not a morning person. So I was having to do a couple of days worth this one morning, but the timing of it was of course so God. The title for this particular day was “Opposition to the Anointing”. The first sentence that jumped out at me was about a little over halfway down on the first page. It says “We have an enemy. He seeks to divert us from the course set for us by our Father. Once we are saved, our enemy cannot destroy us, but he will work hard to distract us.” Now, I knew this, but it was pretty fresh on my mind for I had just experienced it hours before reading this. On Monday afternoon Austin and I were able to spend some time together...working, but together. The day for him had been pretty stressful and he was a wee bit grumpy and edgy. Knowing this, I ignored the invitations that were presented to have my feelings hurt or argue. I just let him vent...we all need to do that. I apologized for how aggravating his day was, and tried to love on him which helped for a few minutes. But after about 3 hours of being around his stinky attitude, he made a comment and I just whipped out my white flag of surrender and let the enemy have his way with my thoughts. I get so caught up sometimes in my own feelings that I forget about the battle I am in. Most of the time I feel like the attacks on me are to not only distract me from being the wife that God has called me to be, but to distract Austin as well. Not long after we moved here I was warned that the enemy would do anything and use anyone to take control of the Church. At the time I was having some health problems, and fighting anxiety and depression. When I heard this warning, I knew immediately that my issues were distractions that caused Austin to take his eyes off of the flock and focus on me....he was using ME and I didn’t even know it! Once I was able to convince my mind that what I was feeling was a ploy from the enemy, my symptoms went away. Understand, that I firmly believe that Ari and I come before Austin’s job, but I also have to remind myself that his job is VERY important. I love you all dearly, but I do have to pray a little harder about having as strong of a passion about you as Austin does. It’s just in him...and that passion takes him away from us a lot, so at times I resent it. It’s been really hard for me to find that line, and I’m still searching. I just know that the Lord has convicted me and always shown me when I’m getting in the way of what He is doing. It’s pretty amazing how often I fall for the same trick over and over again. I am aware, some times more than others, that our battle goes beyond us as a family. God has called Austin to shepherd, and that has proven to be quite the fight! At times I feel ill equipped not knowing what my role is in this battle. The weight of the responsibility can be a bit heavy. I get so wrapped up in my own feelings that there are moments where I feel like we’re alone. But then I look to my left and right and see the godly men and women in leadership that God has surrounded us with who are just as engaged in this battle. And then I turn around and see your faces...each fighting your own battles, but ready at any given second to help me lift the weapons that may be too heavy for me or to throw a shield up to protect Austin from a blow that he didn’t see coming. This “First Lady” is quite humbled.;)

God is doing some really awesome things at Hardin, and you better believe the Enemy is on the prowl. The challenge from this lesson was to RESIST...don’t go looking for a fight, but when it comes to you engage in battle, and stand firm against the attacks made by the enemy. We can walk in confidence because he is already defeated!! As Priscilla stated “You do not have to succumb to the bark of this dog....there’s no bite in him”.

***By the way, I started this blog on Friday morning (1/29) and am just finishing it on Tuesday (2/2). I’ve read it and reread it a hundred times...still trying to get over my insecurity!!