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Sunday, November 29, 2009
Count Your Blessings
Alright... I must admit it. I was angry this am. Got some news from a family member and although exciting news, it reminded me of my deepest, darkest desires. A baby.... So being totally honest, I moped around the house, trudged to the first service and sat next to my daughter Zoe. And then I heard Him... He has done this many times this year. He has spoken to me. I can't believe it, understand why, and yet I feel soooo priviledged. He spoke to me through the song "Count Your Blessings." I stood there about to cry and looked over at one of my biggest blessings. He has given me the most precious daughter and a husband that loves me. And most importantly, HE LOVES ME... Enough to talk to me, to let me know HE understands my deepest, darkest desire and He wants me to trust Him. That if I never have another child, I am blessed with the child that I do have and a God who listens to me even when I am angry... Even when I am frustrated and upset because someone else, younger than me is expecting. I am LOVED. I heard his voice and am so glad that He loves me even when I am unlovable! So this is open and honest... Which is what we want for Hardin... If anyone else is struggling in this, I want you to trust Him.. It is very hard sometimes especially when you hear of others... But remember, He loves you and puts His arms around you! THANK YOU GOD!
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I have read these blogs several times now, I do hope this continues & that women are made aware of them. but, Count Your Blessings made me cry, I relate to all of you, but, I can see a heart that is so much humbled by the fact that Almighty God is concerned with her heart. This is one of Brenda's favorite hymns. It makes us all think of how much God has given us. Children being the supreme blessing to a mother's heart. I have never had a problem having children. I have ones very close to me who have, like my brother, who has no children. It is so difficult to understand why God does not give a child to such loving people sometimes. Then we see people just throw them aside, like yesterday's scraps. I had Christy when I was 17, still a child myself, she is a walking example of God's grace. Then Tim, my sweet boy. Jonathan came at 38 years and the challenge of my life. Yet one of my greatest joys. To know the heart of God is simply to trust Him in our greatest challenges and our greatest triumphs. But, being a mom, loving at all cost, even when the teens run us crazy or become adults and we loose our control. God is on His throne, His love, mercy and grace is forever outpoured over every situation we have. Count our blessings, you got it. Sit with Him a while, crawl up on His knee and rest your head on His strong shoulder. We may not find all the answers, but we will rest in the ones who is.
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